What do women love more than chocolate, men and the day spa? SHOES, SHOES AND MORE SHOES!! Not just any shoe but a true shoe, I call it, thee ultimate shoe! Fabulous designers such as the Steve Madden, Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo, Roberto Cavalli, Via Spiga, Carlos Santana, Dollhouse, Bebe, Charles David, and of course reasonably priced Payless Shoe Source all pamper, spoil and cater to the picky and the risky shoe lover.
Let’s explore this topic of shoes for a moment, how many times have you starved yourself at lunchtime, put off paying a utility bill, balanced your checkbook 5 times to see if there was any extra money floating around, remember sometime around Easter you were super duper nice to your boyfriend, or worked late for a little overtime- just to purchase thee ultimate shoe. These tantalizing shoes that you dream and fantasize about are, different from the last 3 pairs you purchased. These shoes are 100% pure confection, in fact, they’re a must have. That’s when the shoe voices begin to speak to you; life just won’t be the same if you refuse to add me to your wardrobe, I go with everything, if you buy me I might just land you a wedding proposal says the shoe voice, I’m climate friendly, I could help alleviate some of the tension in the workplace, I could help clean up your driving record, to be frankly honest if you don’t buy me your foot will explode, I’m the only shoe for you, your name is all over me says the shoe voice. BUY ME PLEASE!! Seems like you don’t have a choice. Congratulations on your brand new baby girl, I mean shoes!
Shoes have certainly come a very long way. I can recall a time when the market for flats were for waitresses wearing pink with a southern accent or candy stripers with big dreams. Now, people of all professions are wearing flats any and everywhere, even Supermodels have traded in their high-heels for a fancy name brand flat. Different shoe styles work with a variety of looks. It’s all about mixing and matching, sampling and creating new looks, for example: pumps with argyle socks, a mini skirt and cropped blazer jacket, three inch sandals with a peasant dress and shawl, boots with tuxedo shorts, fishnet tights and corset top, wedge heels with Capri jeans and fitted cotton t-shirt, or jeweled flats with linen trousers and tunic. The top secret to fashion is creativity.
The shoe is very important because it enhances and ties your outfit together. Simply put, shoes tell the story. If you’re outfit is slightly off and you know for a fact it’s not your accessories, chances are it’s the shoe. If the shoe is wrong, then everything else will be too. Shoes are not just for protecting our feet from the grease, grime and dirt that come from the streets, shoes are actually our friends. Think about how many times you receive compliments on them, or how they bring you comfort, or how they aid in various activities, such as, running, hiking, jumping, walking and of course dancing. Again, shoes are our friends (round of applause for shoes everyone). I know what you’re thinking, how can shoes hold the highest position, when they’re the lowest position? Let’s slowly go over this- yes, shoes are primarily located at the bottom, but think about it- when you walk into a room, you know you own the room because heads are turning and the whispering begins. The first thing onlookers immediately do, is, scan you from head to toe. They start from the top to the bottom. Again, the last thing they witnessed, was the terrible feet or the terrible shoe, I don’t know which one is worse. You were the star of the show until the shoes were unleashed. Ladies, we’re not alone here, men have this problem as well. A man could be sporting the suit of all suits; the color is perfect, the style is perfect, it’s the perfect cut, tie or no tie it’s all perfect, cologne choice is perfect, jewelry is bling-bling and then you see the shoes, which are bong-bong. I get really mad and violent about this subject. Take your time and get it right. Enroll in a color theory class or purchase a few of the top fashion magazines for advice, but whatever you do and wherever you go, please work the atmosphere by wearing, thee ultimate shoe.
Now, I’m all woman, therefore, I know what and how we think. I’m going to go out on a limb here and unveil some hidden truths about some of the mental abuse we put ourselves through when it comes to finding the ultimate shoe. The following Q&A listed below should help some of you worn and torn shoe lovers get over some of the dysfunctional behavior you display every two weeks (pay day). On your mark-get-set-go!
1. How do you pick out the ultimate shoe?
You don’t, the shoe always picks you. (that rhymes, how cute.)
2. How do you choose between shoes you think are cute vs. shoes you must have? When you think that a shoe is cute, it simply warms your heart, you try it on, walk around a bit and leave it in the store. When you feel as though you must have this stunning shoe that’s neatly displayed right before you; your heart skips a beat, you form a crazy and deranged-yet sweet smile on your face and then you start thinking about your next calendar event, such as; choir rehearsal on Thursday, somebody’s 2nd year wedding anniversary, a baby shower, a college graduation, a job interview, a record release party, the grand opening to Ed-n-Eddy’s Car Wash, happy hour at Chevy’s restaurant or your neighbors bar mitzvah. It really doesn’t matter about the where, but when. When will you have the golden opportunity to showcase those new shoes!
3. What does it mean if I like the shoe, but I decide to put them on hold, for, let’s say 24 hours? It means you really want the damn shoe but you’re having second thoughts for some odd reason. Listen up, don’t ever do that again, just buy thee ultimate shoe right then and there. Here’s a few reasons why: aside from wasted time, wasted gasoline and on top of all that you’re stuck in traffic trying to purchase a shoe on Monday, that could’ve easily been purchased on Sunday. The plot thickens; Tanya, the top sales girl at thee ultimate shoe store, wears the same size as you, and if you’re not there by 9pm when the store closes, the shoe is all hers, leaving you feeling blue, which happens to be the same color of the shoe you just missed out on. Why play games ladies, it’s so unbecoming!
4. How much should I be willing to spend on the ultimate shoe?
I’m a little confused by this question. You could spend anywhere between $12.00-$1,200.00, if you so choose. It’s really up to you, or your Sugar Daddy! A great shoe is priced at many different amounts, there’s no set rule on how much to spend. Just make sure that the left foot and the right foot, are the same size, before, you leave thee ultimate shoe store!
5. When does the guilt kick in?
When you’re trying to create space in your closet for another pair of thee ultimate shoes.
6. How do I process the guilt?
Hurry up and wear them, because we all know the golden rule- in order to receive a full refund, consumers must return all merchandise anywhere between, 14-30 days with the receipt, unworn!
7. I purchased some purple shoes last week. Do I really need another purple pair?
O.k. let’s examine this carefully, are the shoes eggplant, plum, or grape? I’m sorry, what shade of purple again? If you keep redefining why you need another purple shoe, you’ll be just fine around the time you reach the smiling cashier named Wendy, whom will ask you, “Ma’am, will this be cash, check, Visa or MasterCard”?
8. The matter of shopping for a purse to match the shoe
ally, I feel that it doesn’t have to match exactly but everything should be well coordinated.
9. Can I expose the location of thee ultimate shoe store or is it a secret?
When a person approaches you to request information about thee ultimate shoe, you just so happen to be wearing. Pause. Act as if you heard nothing, chances are the inquisitive individual will say, “excuse me” much louder, so you must address he or she this time. That’s when you’ll slowly size up the competition and casually reply, I found the ultimate shoe not to far from here. Actually it was right down the street, next to a huge brown building, adjacent to an all you can eat Chinese food restaurant and no worries, there’s underground parking.
I could be wrong, but it seems as if you don’t want the admiring stranger to know where you shop. Chances are, you really don’t wish to see another young lady in the same fabulous pair of Prada shoes. I understand, really I do. It would definitely be a crying shame, if you were caught rocking the same shoe, with the same handbag, at the same club, and quite possibly with the same date unaware (ouch, I’m here for you)!! However, do you recall the time, when you were riding the train, and Matilda the stranger caught you eyeballing her shoes and without hesitation she informed you of were to find a similar pair on sale! Do you see where I’m going with this? Sisters, nasty reaps nasty and nice reaps nice. The Bottom line is, use your own discretion when it comes to disclosing information about thee ultimate shoe store. That’s my final answer.
10. I think it appropriate to wrap up this Q&A, with a little bit of financial wisdom According to author, money genius and financial guru, Suze Orman…just joking. I’ll leave you with the infinite wisdom of rapper and Bay Area native, “Too Short,” a.k.a, Todd Shaw, don’t buy an eighty-five thousand dollar car, before you buy a house. In other words, check your spending habits and priorities. Be smart, think quick, find out if thee ultimate shoe store has layaway (big smile).
Recommended shoe reading (bn.com):
Shoes: A Celebration of Pumps, Sandals, Slippers & More
By: Linda O’Keeffe
Manolo Blahnik: Drawings
By: Anna Wintour, Andre Leon Talley
The Perfect Fit: What Your Shoes Say About You
By: Meghan Cleary